Well, it’s been quite awhile since my last post. Just got back from a GREAT weekend out in Arizona with my 2 older boys and their uncle/aunt/cousins. I loved the town we were in (Prescott Valley) and have had quite a bit on my mind since leaving there. I spent most of the weekend with Lisa (my ex-ex-sis-in-law) (ex-ex since we are both now divorced from the brother/sister we were each respectively married to – she was married to the brother I was married to the sister just for clarity). Anyway, I had great fun with her, forgot just how well her and I got along and what great company she always was. Even doing nothing we spent the whole time laughing and smiling. Between the feel of the town, the fact that everyone I met up with was just wonderful to talk to, none of that awkward silences and I felt like I could just be myself and relax. I didn’t realize it until I got back home, but I haven’t been that relaxed and comfortable in YEARS.

So, now onto what has been on my mind. I am rapidly approaching a year since splitting with Trish, and I’m finding myself at a bit of a impasse in my life. I don’t really feel grounded much of anywhere, and with the fun we had this weekend, I am starting to seriously consider that maybe it is time for some MAJOR changes in my life. Not sure they would even be possible since the boys mother is here, but the possibility of moving out to Arizona just seems very appealing. Between the family that is there for the boys (and myself since my mom would once again be just an hour away from me down in Phoenix) and how much I liked the town and the area I am feeling like it might be a smart move.

I realize I am rambling in this posting, but I guess that’s par for the course since my thoughts have been rambling for almost a week now with all these thoughts. I know that you can’t always just make a decision like this because your first impressions of a place are almost always favorable. And this would be a MAJOR change, even though it is just 5 hours from where we are living now it means relocating the kids in school, possibly leaving behind my daughter and her new family (including my first grandson), and leaving a job that I love doing and have been here so long it’s more like family here to me. I’m just not sure what to do and how to go about making a decision this big. The kids are making it easy, they’d all love to move (at least Josh and Billy, Brent is still pretty young and since technically we’d be closer to his mother a bit that part doesn’t weigh as heavy in my thoughts).

What would I do for work? I suppose if I could manage to stay with people for a short period I could make a go of finally starting my own business and doing computer repair. I am still researching the area to see what kind of places are already doing that and what kind of competition I would be up against. While starting that, if it doesn’t take off as fast as I need I’d start looking for “real work”.

I just don’t know… had to put some thoughts down somewhere solid where I can come back to them and pick them apart. I think this is one of those decisions that you put out there, let it sit and stew for awhile, come back to it, find the flaws, rework it a little, and just keep nurturing it until the answer becomes apparent. Maybe it is my version of a mid-life crisis, but I just feel a little lost recently and unable to focus and really move my life forward. Having the kids makes some of these decisions a little more tough, but I wouldn’t give up the kids for anything, so I just have to figure out how to factor them in properly and with appropriate respect to their ties to others around us.

Sorry again for the rambling dialogue. I’ll post more as I go along, feel free to comment and give me your input on making decisions like this. I’m not used to being the one that can’t easily find an answer to a question, but I know eventually I will.

Greg